How is everyone doing on your experimental Action out in the world? If you haven't really thought about it, please take a few minutes now to work toward whatever you committed to try, whether it is journaling, meditation, thinking, exploring something via art, or...yes....even waiting. Maybe just take a few moments to hold the waiting and honor the pregnant pause.
I have still been meditating on what it means to be vulnerable to panic (and this includes engaging with Pan) and I have to say it's led to some insights I never expected.
Meanwhile, in honor of our conversation on fear, I have been thinking about faith and trust, and how we each must come into some relationship with these as we embark on new ventures and turn our ears to the calling of soul. Even if "fear" and "faith" are not words that have occurred to you as you look toward your own future as you go about carving your path for what's next for you, it's a fundamental archetypal aspect of transition that we should all be very conscious of and attend to as much as we can.
Today I had a call with a potential new partner for the Alliance that may also offer opportunities for me personally to branch out and develop something new in my own career. I don't really know exactly what it might be, but the feeling of imminent opportunity was profound.
When I ended the session, something very large had been evoked and was filling up the room around me. I had (have) no idea how to move forward nor what this might lead to. It was totally unexpected and I have no idea what shape it may take...but something happened bigger than me, and I realized in that moment I was both profoundly excited by the possibilities, and yet, at the same time, terrified with the unknown of how to proceed, what might be required if I go down this path, and how I might logistically proceed to the next step. It was exhilarating but sobering. Yet..I recognize something authentic here; I have to be willing to open to flight, even if I don't know what that entails.
Below a quote I recently came across in my inquiry, and the part about the "bird lingering by the nest" resonated strongly. :
“What is true of the natural qualities of the soul is preeminently true of faith. So long as we are quietly at rest amid favorable and undisturbed surroundings, faith sleeps as an undeveloped sinew within us. But when we are pushed out from all these surroundings, with nothing but God to look to, then faith grows suddenly into a cable, a monarch oak, a master-principle of the life. As long as the bird lingers by the nest, it will not know the luxury of flight. As long as the trembling boy holds to the bank, or toes the bottom, he will not learn the ecstasy of battling with the ocean wave.”
― F.B. Meyer ((8 April 1847 – 28 March 1929), Pastor, Evangelist, Author
Please share any experiences you are having as you reflect on our conversation about fear as well....
Replies
Bonnie - It seems that you opened out into a new realm of possibilities "made authentic" by the energetic experience of it.. and I am happy to read about this "something that is very large, filling up the room". The positive side of what we call fear is that it is an energy that can be utilized to move us to the next step or ask for help in the larger world, but for me it takes some real centering and breathing to get past the box I find myself in when self judgement or self-doubt and fear of the unknown kicks in. What does it feel like when you sense "the filling up of the room" in your body?
Thanks for the reminder to engage in my experimental action and shift attention to looking forward to sensing how psyche is alive and moving in groups of people that I will be with over the next week.
I did want to listen to our first talk to be refreshed in the depth inquiry as a group - but I could not get the link to go to a download of the mp3 that you made.
Is there any advice on how to get to this page? I appreciate your efforts here. Julie
this is the link i clicked
I just posted this in the DiscoverRing group the link to listen/ re-listen to our first call on 5-6-15: http://www.depthinsights.com/vocation/DiscoverRing-Depth_Psychology...
Julie--thanks to YOU for the reminder to pay attention to my own somatic experience in all this. Even though that feeling of "something filling up the room" is clearly that—a feeling—my first tendency is still to interpret it with my "head" (I'm a thinking type--and I "think" we should one day focus on typology in the group!).
Some of my contemplation on "panic" yesterday revealed that it stems from the sense of urgency I feel around getting us all moving in a direction where we can be prepared, tooled, and available to help others deal with changes that are coming on all fronts—while being reminded from reading the comments from you, Adele, and Donna that on some level, just us coming together to be present to what is needed and wanted from each of us individually is the beginning. We are planting a seed that hopefully will bloom, regardless of all the urgency and timelines and deadlines that are trying to push themselves into the garden... :)
I am having a hard time relating to the intentions of this group. Partly it is where I am in my own life; having had my shares of both “triumphs” and “failures” and now thrown into a strange land and radically altered circumstances by the fates themselves. I am past wanting to change the world which probably makes me unsuited to this particular group.
The other part is my sense that the profound wisdoms and metaphorical perspective which DP cultivates are part of the way we live and act in whatever endeavor we are involved in. Those who are in clinical practice or academia might have an easier time in so defining themselves.
And then there is that word Vocation and Hillman’s perspectives on pages 171/2 of Blue Fire.
“We need to talk of the work instinct, not the work ethic, and instead of putting work with the superego we need to imagine it as an id activity, like a fermentation, something going on instinctively, autonomously, like beer works, like bread works…
I have a fantasy… that I have a farm, and it doesn’t matter whether I’m correcting proofs or writing footnotes…whatever I am doing, it’s like a farm, and I have to feed the chickens and hoe the potatoes and chop the wood and do the accounts and pull the weeds. And every one of those jobs is necessary, and none is more important than the other one. So the new white page, the important new thought you are developing is not more important than the many little things that happen to be in your way or along your way. But they happen to be the way itself. I don’t have a monocentric image of work as if each person had one special task. If I ask myself, What’s your task in life? I’m going to get a single answer. Questions like this come out of the ego so they only can have one answer – or a choice among single answers. Ego questions are setups = you can never answer them psychologically, with a polytheistic answer. So there isn’t just one special task, like a calling or vocation. Vocation is a very inflating spiritual idea. One to one. God to me. Notice how our idea of Renaissance man is a polytheistic fantasy. He does all kinds of things. But vocation addresses the ego and makes it a specialist – then you “believe in yourself” – and that’s another trap of that devil, belief – because who is believing in whom? I am believing in myself – all ego, and then I have a mission.”
The distinction between calls of soul and ego are so, so subtle. And the modern mythology of success and having to/wanting to make a difference has its very crafty underbelly I think. And promotion by PersonaBook, all of us preparing our various masks! Knock, knock - who is really calling???
Are we just a group of people who are scared to put themselves out? And what is the fear saying ; is this my authentic challenge to walk through, or a communication that this is not right for you? Pray for the wisdom to know the difference.
For myself, even though I would love to teach and counsel around sacred/conscious sexuality as I did before (and maybe it will evolve here – or not), I am focusing on retraining for basic livelihood. Somehow it feels more authentic for me. (I heard the other day that the artist Phillip Glass earned his living as a plumber for 26 years, while also doing his music. I liked that).
I love the ongoing rambling into Jung and Hillman et al; a bit like a religious student continually studying the ancient texts. I love to talk images and track the dreaming that lives me and others and share this imaginal language and shamanic perspective with others who live psyche. Does that mean I should or should not be part of this group? I don’t know. It sure is fascinating…
Adele—Thank you for posting this authentic reply. I love how you jump in with such honesty and the questions you raise show that you are also conducting an honest inquiry into your own life, career, and vocation at this time.
For my part, I feel very conflicted between finding and connecting to soul as related to calling (otherwise I know I will burn out in any endeavor), and feeding the chickens as you visually and succinctly put it?
I think this dilemma reflected in my own hopes for the group. How do we infuse the group with depth psychology and soul, and still train ourselves to further our work using technology and social media, which can seem so soulless? And can we do one without the other? And how do we find a rhythm between spending too much time on one or the other?.....
One of my greatest fears and challenges is dealing with computer technology. I intuitively feel it is an important part of my growth and ability to be more fully in allignment with my calling, where Psyche is drawing me towards. Since experiencing (one more) debacle re computers/the web on Saturday, I have realized that I am so busy with my fear and resistance about technology, that I forget to honor the gods associated with this arena. I emailed something about this to others here and received several gods who are associated with this arena.
The god who has caught my imagination is Hephaestus. I have been getting reacquainted with him. Since I live at the base of Mt. Aetna/Etna in California, I was somewhat familiar of him; although deformed, wounded, he created beautiful things at Aetna, was the husband of Aphrodite. I had no idea he was the god of technology!
So, as synchronicity would have it, I "just happened" to open up Michael Meade's book Fate & Destiny to this:
A SACRED AFFLICTION: At the level of the soul each person is gifted, but each is also wounded in some way...If our wounds weren't intimately bound up with our giftrs, everyone would commit to the inner life more quickly and treasures would be popping up all over....The soul carries and at critical times exhibits an inner defect, a sacred affliction that makes us truly human and full inhabitants of this world. For everything here is a little wounded, a little broken or cracked. Ancient artists often placed a deect in their best work in order to honor the necessary imperfections of life on earth."
Thanks for sharing this synchronicity and quote from Michael, Donna. You can bet each of us could trace our fears back to certain wounds, most of which we probably wouldn't be surprised to learn are archetypal at their core.
This quote also makes me think of the Japanese art of Kintsugi (or wabi-sabi) where gold is used to patch the cracks, drawing attention to them and making them into something beautiful. Here's a good mainstream article: http://www.examiner.com/article/kintsugi-mending-our-wounds-with-gold
I also wrote a blog summarizing a talk from Thomas Moore where he touched on the topic for anyone who's interested: http://www.depthpsychologylist.com/Depth-Psychology-Practitioners-B...
Bonnie, so moved by your sharings here. "I have to be willing to open to flight, even if I don't know what that entails." Yes. And, the lovely poem by F.B. Meyer speaks to me (I plan on reading it to participants on my Psyche Salon call today).
I am so, so, grateful for this container and our group call last Wednesday. I left the call both exhausted, fearful, and exhilarated, this elixir, this mix, which has propelled me forward, even through the scary bits. Psyche's call is asking me to keep stepping out into unknown waters, to jump off secure platforms of experience. Sometimes I feel very excited by all of this and other times I think I am nuts. Alchemy requires the fire be turned up for transformation, yes?
I am reminded of the book by Stephen Pressfield, The War of Art. Have you read it? He talks about the power of resistance to paralyze, to keep us from that which we wish to create. One of his suggestions is the need for ritual, for a way to honor, the creative callings and acts which are wishing to break through. I have my altar for my writing; I feel it is time to add to my space, to honor the gods of technology and courage.
Bonnie, I believe in you and your work here and wherever Psyche is leading you. You inspire me so much...Blessings, D