Good early morning – some very interesting occurrences are presenting themselves to me just when I was hoping the depths of the images surrounding my origins [transgenerational + birth/NDE’S images] processes I have been into for awhile now arrived at a place where I actually feel a sense of stillness within myself…and then, just when I caught a few moments in this divine space…as wisdom would have her way with me…some interesting new pieces started to manifest and appear in the background and now in my foreground:

1) My freezer part of our fridge was not working for some strange and unknown reason…we tried some interventions, to no avail and called, made an appointment for a repair tech to come to do a diagnostic today, purchased ice for the top of the freezer…and then, this idea came from nowhere/somewhere to simply unplug the unit, turn the dials off, wait 15 minutes, plug the unit back in and turn the dials back on…voila la…there is nothing wrong with the freezer, it’s working just fine, so cancelled the tech.

2) Robert is offering a 10 week series on some letters, prophesies – Frankenstein letters, saw the cost, beyond my senior financial means, so simply just let that go…

3) And just when I simply in this place of stillness, Bonnie sends the Dinner  + Depth topic for this coming Wednesday and it’s Robert + Frankenstein coming back at me…financial barrier removed and so, I guess I am to face the Frankenstein horror experiences I have not spoken about nor shared with anyone…synchronicity?

4) My origin concerning Frankenstein begins in my formative years when my teen brother loved to watch horror movies, i.e. Creature of the black lagoon, Frankenstein, etc…the old black + white classic horror flicks available in the late 1950’s at our local main street, Starland theatre…I simply told him I did not want to go to these kind of movies with him and thought that was the end of that_ 

5) I enter nursing and am just celebrating completion of my 50-year career of service in the helping professions [nursing/counselling], and there are those front-line service horror stories observed and witness on the job…the moments shutdown, not discussed after they occurred…too monstrous to dwell upon…

6) Then HBO has series out called “Nick” and “Masters of Sex” representations [fact + fiction] about the early surgeons,  open surgical theatres…another area of medicine I felt sick in – had to observe one gallbladder removal operation as a student and knew I did not have the stomach for this field…however, it is quite revealing watching the series characters struggle with the surgical horrors back in the fields formation days…

7) Masters of Sex – it is one thing to have study the text in university and another to see the actors portray the Masters + Johnson characters and their take on ethics in research back in those days…

8) And then there is my rude awakening day in ICU and deep knowing it was time for me to leave intensive care…I spent a night shift [the longest 12 hour night shift of my career] caring for a lady who had blown her brains out in a suicide attempt, but alas…her distraught husband found her, called 911, the paramedics came, performed CPR while transporting her into the hospital where she was placed on advanced life support, diagnosed brain dead over the next 2 days…then, tissue typed + matched for organ donation while we kept her body and “good” organs alive while her husband sat paralysed at her bedside - in absolute horror and disbelief…and in that moment…I recalled…that as a child, I did not like that Frankenstein movie, but know felt like I was Dr. Frankenstein’s nurse…43 years old, 25 years into nursing…and this connection made me feel just so awful…I just know I would be unable to carry on bravely…in this kind of service, but alas, my brother is ill and needed my full attention…so, I walked a 2 year journey with him on what I called the road of degradation…it would be 2 more years before I could breath, consider myself and leave ICU nursing and shift academia to train to be a trauma counsellor…the need for survivors of horror stories surrounded me…

Anyways, that’s enough sharing of true, gut wrenching stuff for tonight…maybe I can rest easier now and go to sleep…interesting how the depth topics just keep coming at me, insistent and have a way with and for surfacing…and if I was not in this depth community…I know I would have remained silent and taken much of my [deepest professional life] sharing, especially the “Frankenstein” horror stories to my grave…but wisdom is having her way with me via DPA…I have a couple of deeply sensed connections [trustworthy virtual friends] now [never met, but non-locality wise – trust exists], and the message remains loud + clear – if it comes to you - speak up about your experience of it - in the now…

I decided to post this content is our closed small discussion group - Jung, Alchemy + the Tree of Life which feels like a home base page for me at this time…I notice that writing in brief text here is OK, but am also aware I am still speechless [there’s that still word again – and a song comes to my heart - “In the Still of the Night” - hmm], for there are all those images, the sensory perceptual memories of the horrors witnessed…and the only good that ever arouse out of all my witnessing was/remains for me to continue to garnished enough courage + strength to start advocating for survivors struggling in the health care system…to speak my true life experiences now and continue to pray that God will continue to have mercy on me and bless us all…in the depths of all of this – whatever this is and for whatever reason + purpose this serves…which is bigger than me…but I will continue to heed the call and find the words as best I can.  Thanks for being out there to receive my words...Peace + Love Linda

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  • Dear Linda,

    What an extraordinary story. Horrible and sublime and indeed...what a journey you have traveled! I salute your courage, then and sharing this story and how it led you out of the ICU and into working with Trauma. We, as therapists do carry so much trauma but what you saw and the Robert Romanyshyn work will be incredible and rich. 

    Btw; did you know that "Frankenstein" emerged from a dream that Mary Shelley had after her many miscarriages; I think there were as many as nine. In the midst of these, Percy Shelley, her husband wrote another incredible poem. Something to research.

    I am so glad that you feel welcome here and continue to return and keep this site growing and blossoming..

    • Good evening Eva - how wonderful for me to receive your kind words this morning.  I wanted to say thanks earlier, however, this day got ahead [ahold] of me and this is my first chance to reply.  I did not know anything about the Mary Shelley story and 9 miscarriages is a lot of loss of unborn children.  Reminds me of the work of Dr. Kenneth McCall - Healing of the family tree where he shares true life stories about the soul states of aborted children.  

      I will check out Percy's poem, thanks and maybe after Robert's presentation, I might say something about my mother's experiences, 2 abortions which she said nothing about until she was 79 years old.  The post war women certainly did bear much in silence...Peace + Love Linda


    OK - just had to share this song and now I can go to sleep for my heart has been soothed... thank God I have Agape love residing deeply in my heart and soul, otherwise I would not have made it to this place... in my time on the good green earth...let us hope we can find ways to keep the earth and ourselves the still of it all.  Nighty-nite.  Peace + Love Linda

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