Sorry for some non caps and typos  i am experimenting with the dictation system

I call to my own true soul

Me: I call to my own True Soul That which is the essence of me. I called to you embedded in my cells and I call to you above and beyond me.

I called to you to communicate with me here on this page and through this pen.

Soul: I am– I am–sometimes that's all you need. But you are asking for more than that. I bring to use the best of what you have to offer.

Me: I am in awe of the life I get to live and I wonder how can I best show up for it.

Soul: you know, create beauty wherever you go and give it away.

Me: I got lost funny how how the strands go.

Soul: follow them cedar follow the Strand it will lead you.

Me: okay –I thought of places in Camp to create beauty, then of the camp site for retreat, and then of Pauline seeing only pastors. I have rage in me about the explosiveness and narrowness of Christians also of my longing to lead people on their retreats and facilitate the retreats.

Soul: okay stop there cedar what happens then?

Me: I think I gave up the idea, kind of shutdown.

Soul: why Cedar why do you shut down the ideas that have pulled you since you got here?

Me: I don't know I guess I doubt– My capacity and my ability to listen clearly to your call. I believe you have direction for me is that true?

Soul: no and yes both. I have my own soul longing and I fill your heart with it.

Me: what do you long for?

Soul: ask your heart.

Me: I long to open myself and others to the creative flow of our souls, spirit, planet. 

Soul: don't go global yet Cedar.

Me: my heart weeps and longs to be a healer and artist. Yes yes , heal people, trees, land, myself.

Soul: no Cedar, let that go you've done so much and will continue to do your own work. But you're longing on your heart that I planted there of my own deep longing is to live love, is to heal.

Me: what about create beauty wherever you go and give it away?

Soul you heal through art, through touch and talk.

Me: In grass Valley will it open for me a healer. can I train with Doug and Carla too?

Pause

Soul: cedar Trail follow it again.

Me: I think of how I want to do healing– wonder if maybe I should do that here but I haven't. So hope the way will open in grass Valley. Then wonder if–oh the trail took off thinking of timing and when to move there–then if I could also learn from Doug with G and T and also from Carla. So that's the trail.

Soul: there a door there? yes yes yes. There is a reason you often see them in your future. There is a way ahead for you and it is light and you have been nourished for the road ahead while here. And you have nurished this land and yes create beauty and

Me: and what soul?

Soul: the longing Cedar the longing. Taking people by the hand into nature, wilderness. 

Me: I better get my place ready for this retreatant. 

Soul: not yet. Cedar, the longing….

Me: my greatest longing now is to do my own art my own art.

Soul: bingo yes. I – your soul–fill your heart with my own true longing follow the trails often it's my only way of communicating. Follow the trail of your heart.

Me: thank you, so is there more you would like to say?

Soul: Watch the spontaneous pulls. 

Me: art feels like the pull more than healing these days. 

Soul: yes yes but the weaving will come and delight you.

Me: thank you I honor the link

Soul: most important– I am– I am– I am