I had a series of memory flashes recently, triggered by a poignant song that was playing along while I was otherwise focused. It pulled me into a vortex of feelings and reflections, about a person from an earlier part of my life. She was pivotal in my early relationship development, and having thought of her on previous occasions, I was struck with the lingering feeling intensity this time around. Why this time, why now? Feelings are useful clues to the interior of our lives and one of many ways that the unconscious "flags" elements in the "exterior" world that have meaningful connections to what is going on inside. It is a form of projection. Generally, the unconscious does not have direct access to immediate verbal expression, unless "leaked" through slips of the tongue. More commonly it makes itself known though dreams, fantasy, and all too commonly as events in the "exterior" world that spark strong emotional responses, often unexpectedly, such as movies, passages in a book, something someone says, etc. Here was a person from deep past (5 decades?) making an insistent visit in the present. This provokes the reminder that, for the unconscious, timelessness is the temporal framework, and it is waking consciousness that trys to keep timelines current.
So, what could be provoking this tumult of memory. The best understanding that I would offer myself, is that this memory of a more innocent time, with a genuinely sincere and kind young feminine image was needed to compensate for a "lop-sided" aspect of my current thinking/feeling self. For the unconscious mind the "key" element is "feeling," so, the intensity of the emotional connection, during that time past, and the importance this person played in formulating my inner relationship with love of another, is a tribute to them and a strong statement of how these emotional events serve as "templates" for later use by the dreaming mind. I had multiple "other" relationships in the subsequent years, but they don't pop to mind as fervently as this person does, which makes it all the more curious that she pops forward now.
So, what do I do about this?? First allow that other thoughts and feelings are just as likely to be just as relevant, and to watch for them as the days unfold. Waking mind tends to want to say "this is it," in part as an ego-defensive, pre-emptive response. Take some action to recognize the content that is seeking recognition. Writing this blog is one example, actually writing to the person in question is also part of the process, as part of "taking some action" (ala Marie Louise von Franz admonition to her Depth Psychology students in response to dreams). I make no assumptions that this is exclusively "my" process, as this is the claim holding attitude of "little self." Is something happening in "that person's" life that nudges it way into my awareness. While this question is immediately "transpersonal" in it's nature, I always need to keep an open-ness of mind that I do not "know" the extent of mind. The dreams I have every night are sure reminders of this aspect, and a lifetime of drawings that "just appear" from beneath my hand, cause me to be cautious of any "claim" to ownership.
Does this "actual" person need to hear all of my inner dialogue, no, not really, that is self-indulgent at best, but a friendly contact is certainly warranted. I trust my intuition, as it has been a faithful companion and guide along a long and winding path. I tend to be better off, if I follow it's gentle nudging. If I ignore it's soft voice, "stuff happens," as they say. That which is not attended to from within, tends to manifest as "accident, or incident, symptom, or sychronicity" to paraphrase Carl Jung. If I have given this event it's proper attention, I can expect some form of affirmation in dream or fantasy. If I am "off" then a good thump on the head can be expected.
Watching the fantasies and associated feelings are just as important as DreamWork.
Just as I wrote that last sentence... the same song came on the stream I enjoy. Perhaps I am going is the correct direction?? Careful there Paul, hubris provokes the trickster everytime. ;>)
