Awoke with the words mini-javelin on my lips. Perhaps this is the energy coursing through my body as I begin to accumulate the truth of the matter here. Truth of the matter, truth of the mother, of Mother Earth, and her children. It’s like waking up one day realizing the people you trusted were ignorant, corrupt, evil. But you didn’t want to believe it and so had to live in such a way that you ignored it. The contortions of “I do not see what I see. I do not know what I know. I do not feel what I feel,” are gaining momentum.

I am so profoundly sad to be leaving the world in this condition to the next generations. I will not go down without a fight. I will not shut up and put up. I did that in my own life with my own patriarchal, oppressive father and ended up with cancer, at my throat chakra, my thyroid, just at the place were I stopped the energy in my own body.

This time, I’ve got to keep the energy moving, keep it flowing. It’s hard to be conscious! It breaks my heart to see and to know, and to sometimes feel as if there isn’t anything I can really do. It breaks my heart to think of all those children leaving their homes in Central America (other places too?), trying to find a better life here. Who was it that said, something to the effect of it will be how they treat their children that will determine the morality of a culture?

How do we stay conscious and not get totally overwhelmed with sadness? And rage? Don’t be surprised if you see me standing on a busy street corner holding up a cardboard sign of a Mother Theresa quote, reading, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other.”