The following is my dream from last night, the shift from July 11th to July 12th, 2010. As readers here are already know, I don’t post my dreams as this place isn’t a place of analysis. However, the dream will presented because of a need I feel with regards to the dream, what I feel is perhaps an “archetypal” dream. Now typically I don’t remember dreams anymore, in fact I deliberately leave them alone in order to see what stays and what disappears as wakefulness takes over from sleep. Today, I remembered this dream upon waking. Since I was travelling to my home from the U.S.A., a ten-hour drive, I allowed the dream an opportunity to slip away. Yet now, twelve hours after waking, the images are still burnt into my brain, demanding that I pay attention. So in order to honour this, I will allow the dream to speak.
. . . I am with my partner and it seems/feels like we are going to play golf. However, the scene is unexpected and I don’t have the necessary equipment for the game. I turn back, leaving my partner in order to get the equipment needed. As I retrace my steps finding myself somehow in unfamiliar territory, I am met by two men, I know that these men have evil in mind. As they hold me, I see a woman appear before my eyes, a woman who doesn’t have natural flesh tones. Rather, she appears to be injured, damaged. I come to know that she is dis-spirited – libido is almost fully absent. She is laying on her side on the road without clothing, a blue-ghost of a woman. From the left side, a young female child approaches on hands and knees. She looks at the blue woman as though talking to her but no words are spoken or heard. I knew what the child was asking for in her silence, she was asking for the blue woman to open her legs and expose her vulva. The girl-child crawls to her and begins to place a kiss on the blue woman’s nether lips . . . and immediately the scene shifts and I feel the men’s grip tightening on my, holding me down so that the blue woman can rape me . . . I know I have been raped, but not by the blue woman . . . now, I am broken, as dis-spirited as the blue woman . . . I make my way to what appears to be the banquet following the golf game. My partner is with another man. She knows that I was with the blue woman and now she is angry with me as though I was a traitor. Her appearance is hard and stone-like. I can go no closer, there is no going back to the way things were . . .
What does this dream mean to me? First, it didn’t take me long to realize that this blue woman was Goddess the Mother, the consort of God the father. This wasn’t a simple, personal inner image of anima. For some reason, God the Mother decided to talk with me. For me, there is no doubt that in our modern world, the feminine has been raped to the point of near death. As I listen to the voice of our planet as it expresses its pain, as I see the hurt in all sets of eyes that I meet, I know the truth of this. I know that our time to make changes in order to save the planet, to save our souls is very limited. The goddess allowed me to feel her pain, to suffer her rape. And so I am left to somehow to do something.
I know the power of my shadow, the collective shadow, the hate, the anger, the control, the destructive tendencies of chaos. I know the positive aspects of the masculine as well. And this gives me hope that at least I can choose. I know the faces of my personal anima, her beauty and softness and promise as well as her dark side within me and in the world. And I can choose which aspects of the masculine and the feminine within myself are to be honoured. But, so what!
Now what? I guess it is time for me to do my part to save the world. It is as simple as that. I know, many will discount these words as babbling. It has to start somewhere. I know that I am not the only one who will be busy with this work of finding a new myth to replace the masculine myths of the three deities – Yahweh, God and Allah – with a new myth that includes the feminine, includes shadow and includes the earth.