What I wouldn't give to be a bona fide member of this group!

Posted by Alan A. MacKENZIE on March 18, 2011 at 7:55pm

Hello All:

It's so cool to read about your exploits on your "journeys" through academia.  My deepest desire is to go on to fo my PhD in Spiritual Direction through Wisdom University or ITP.

The only thing holding me back is $$$ at the moment. Even though I made the Dean's Commendation list for the MCounsel (Hons) programme at my Alma Mater in Aussie, NZ isn't the best country for trying to source scholarship or fellowship funding.  Especially if you haven't completed your last grad degree here.

I know most of you have likely forgot all about this part of your journey... but could I ask anyone if you would care to delve into the deep dark recesses and comment on how that part of the sojourn went for you?  I'm not wanting to steer the group in any one direction away from the heart of the dissertation process, just interested in what you might have to say having gone through it yourselves.

Thanks and all the best on the near final leg of your PhD's.  Alan 

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  • Bonnie Bright March 22, 2011 at 2:33pm

    Hi Alan: I appreciate your question though I can see why it may have been more relevant (and actually garnered more response) to have posed it in the General Forum on the Home Page. However, I also understand the intrigue of asking people who have somehow found a way to do finance their journey which is now drawing to a close presenting the question of "how did I do it?".

    Meanwhile, I also really appreciate Ed and Jill's stories and concur with both. If you're feeling the call, I would suggest the next phase to observe is your feelings about trust. I started grad work in Depth Psych because I COULDN'T do otherwise. My solution was student loans which I'll probably be paying off the rest of my life at this point. However, I do trust that if the universe gave me a way--and lenders trust me to pay back the loans they provide--then the universe will also support me in that process. Next!....

    That's just my story--not necessarily yours--but I'm also suddenly struck by how relevant this thought process is to dissertation as well. If the universe has placed me here (finally having (almost) finished coursework and dissertation is the next step on the path, I have to trust I will be able to go through it and get it done in a way that I am pleased with. Hmmm......good insight :)

    • Alan A. MacKENZIE > Bonnie Bright March 22, 2011 at 2:43pm

      Hi Bonnie:

      Many thanks for your candour and for your wonderful response!

      I hear you when you say you COULDN'T do anything else -- I guess I'm kinda coming to this place myself!  And I truly understand your views once having "found the way" in, you can also "find the way through".  I do get that!  Thanks also for sharing a bit of "Bonnie" with us as well.  I said to me matey Michael Wren, when he signed up to this group, that I'd read some of your works and found you to be a "wise soul".  Your point about the general forum is well taken.  Thanks to all for your patient understandings.  Alan

  • Carol Berzonsky March 22, 2011 at 12:36pm
    Alan, I just want to be sure I understand your question. Are you asking for folks to share about the financial aspect of entering a program?
    • Alan A. MacKENZIE > Carol Berzonsky March 22, 2011 at 1:55pm

      Hi Carol:  I apologize to you for any confusion my comments may have raised.  I guess I was just curious about other people's experiences trying to source the necessary funding to proceed further in their academic journeys, that's all.  I've been struggling for 1.5yrs trying to find a graduate fellowship or even a method of "financing" my PhD goals & dreams, to complete a doctorate in Depth Psyc, but to no avail. My journey is unique (well, maybe not too unique) in that I have a young family to care for also -- and at my age, the clock is tickin' and if I'm going to do this, I guess I feel like my brother Ed, a soul mate who reminds me of his truth..."If not now, old man, when?"

      So in brief, I guess I can answer "Yes" --- I guess that's what I'm seeking from others.  Thanks for the clarification, Carol!

      Alan

    • Carol Berzonsky > Alan A. MacKENZIE March 22, 2011 at 4:21pm

      Hi Alan, I can appreciate what feels an insurmountable issue standing between you and your educational dreams. I hail from a modest economic background so enrolling in a very expensive graduate program on the other side of the continent seemed quite impossible. I believe my ability to eventually enroll resulted from a combination of Bonnie's notion of "I couldn't do otherwise" and Ed's "If not now, when?" Once I decided that depth psychology was what I wanted to study and Pacifica was the school for me, a series of synchronicities occurred.--which I believe is an important sign from soul that this is my path. Among other things, my partner was offered a job in California with enough money to support my living expenses. It doesn't mean, however, that I haven't experienced many moments of panic and angst regarding the sacrifices being made, i.e., how much money is not going into retirement (at my age), the extra burden on my partner, the fact that this program is not a precise training program that prepares me for a "job." But as others have mentioned, I have to trust that this is my path and part of my life's unfolding. Taking the risk has been a fabulous journey of personal and academic growth, not to mention the opportunity to develop some wonderful relationships.

      I like Ed's suggestion to enlist the help of your dreams and imaginings.  Good Luck!

      Carol

  • Ed Koffenberger March 20, 2011 at 6:59pm

    Alan,

    My moment of truth involved waiting with all the pros and cons for many years, waiting for the time to be right (financially, personally, professionally, etc) until one day - many years later - my mirror image said, "If not now, old man, when?" Money, time, relationships, profession suddenly dimmed into tasks to be accomplished rather than hurdles to be jumped. If you are looking toward spiritual direction you know the Spirit moves when and where it will. It's more our job to get out of the way. :)

    I would also ask your dreams and daylight imaginings to add to your internal discussions.

    Also, I intend to be a student the rest of my life so I'll die with my debt. (I am half serious about this actually).

    Keep us informed about your journey. Much positive energy your way.

    Ed

     

  • Jill Cresap March 18, 2011 at 8:14pm

    Hi Alan,

    I am privileged to personally know and study with the Alliance's founder, Bonnie Bright. We are both, as well as other involved in this group, members of the Pacifica Graduate Institute's student population.

     

    I wanted to respond to your post because, although you are, literally on another side of the world, I too had many obstacles to reaching my goal of getting my Ph.D. in the Depth Psychology program at Pacifica. PGI is literally located less than 100 miles from my home. Yet, when I first heard about the program and went to the introductory event, it seemed impossible that I would be able to conquer the financial and logistical obstacles that impeded my path.

     

    So, I contacted my uncle, a Jungian Psycholanalyst in Berkely, California. I was fortunate enough to witness his graduation from the Wright Institute about 1-2 years previously and he was my inspiration for following my dream. When I called him and told him of my draw to Pacifica and that, while I believed I could get financial aid, it didn't seem possible because the program met monthly Monday through Wednesday - and I had a more than full time job that I had recently started. My call to him was to ask him if he thought it would be "good enough" to go towards the Clinical Psychology degree, because it was a better fit for my schedule. So he said to me, "What do you really want to do?" and I replied, "I want to enter the MA/Ph.D Depth Psych program. He said, "Well, then I think you should ask your boss if she would support you in that goal."

     

    I was scared. But, I wrote the proposal to her, with my arguments and agreements. She asked me, one day later, if I'd like to go to lunch to discuss it. We did, I spelled it all out for her and her response was; "Well, I think we could use a Ph.D. at our organization."

     

    My point, Allan, is that you can get to where you need to be, learn what your heart and the world is calling out to you to accomplish. Financial issues be damned! Logistical BS can be broken down! This is the time to reach out and conquer to be where you can be of benefit to yourself, your goals, and the soul of you and those around and far from you. Go for it! Ask for it from whoever you feel is in charge. You might just be pleasantly surprised!

     

    Happy Travels on Your Journey,

    Jill

    • Alan A. MacKENZIE > Jill Cresap March 19, 2011 at 12:51pm

      Jill:

      Your wonderful story and its encouraging, positive and hopeful tenor is deeply appreciated. Jill.  I'm in the process of "weighing up" who I could talk with concerning this.  I'll keep "pondering" how to do this, as like you, I have a passion for Depth Psychology, particularly in “the experiences of the sacred, of mystery, and of the ineffable. . . at home with myth and symbol, with the religious and spiritual traditions of the world, with anthropology and archeology, with art, poetry, and literature”.  Alan

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